By Fiona Hewkin, Counsellor at The Eaves
Trauma is one of those things that can hit you like a train, completely upending your life in a way you never saw coming. Whether it’s a car accident, losing someone you love, a natural disaster, an assault, a violent relationship an abusive childhood or something else entirely, trauma leaves its mark. And the truth is, we all have our ways of coping—some healthy, some not so much. But finding effective strategies to handle trauma can make a world of difference in how we move forward.
In this blog we will look at some practical, down-to-earth coping strategies that can help you or someone you know start healing from trauma. The goal isn’t to “get over it” (because honestly, that’s not how it works), but to find ways to live with it and manage the impact it has on your life.
1. Acknowledge Your Trauma
This might sound obvious but the first step in dealing with trauma is acknowledging that it happened. Denial is a powerful force. It’s a way of protecting ourselves from the pain, but it also keeps us stuck. Acknowledging your trauma doesn’t mean you have to relive every detail or constantly talk about it. It just means being honest with yourself about what happened and how it affected you.
Give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling—anger, sadness, confusion, fear, or even numbness. These emotions are natural responses to trauma, and there’s no “right” way to feel.
2. Reach Out for Support
Trauma can be incredibly isolating. You might feel like no one understands what you’re going through, or you might not want to burden others with your pain, you might feel embarrassed or ashamed. But reaching out for support is crucial. You don’t have to go through this alone.
This could mean talking to a friend or family member, or it might mean seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor. Do make sure that you choose a counsellor who is trauma informed! There are also support groups where you can connect with others who have been through similar experiences. Just knowing that someone else has felt what you’re feeling can be a huge relief.
If you’re not ready to talk, that’s okay too. Sometimes just being around people who care about you—whether you’re talking about what happened or not—can help you feel less alone.
3. Establish a Routine
Now I am particularly rubbish at having a routine, but it can be really helpful. When your world feels like it’s been turned upside down, establishing a routine can bring a sense of stability and normalcy. This doesn’t mean you have to schedule every minute of your day but having a few regular activities can make a big difference.
This could be something as simple as getting up at the same time every day, taking a walk in the morning, or having a cup of tea before bed. Routines create a sense of order and predictability, which can be incredibly soothing when everything else feels chaotic. Remember that as humans we are driven by a need for safety, routines can help us feel safe.
4. Focus on Self-Care
Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and face masks (though those can be great too!). It’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Trauma can take a toll on all of these areas, so it’s important to find ways to nurture yourself.
Physically, this might mean making sure you’re eating healthily, getting enough sleep, and moving your body. Exercise can be a powerful tool for managing trauma. It releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, and helps to reduce stress. We are not talking massive workouts here, a walk can help lower stress.
Emotionally, self-care might involve doing things that bring you joy or comfort, like listening to music, reading a book, or spending time with loved ones. It could also mean giving yourself permission to rest and do nothing when you need it. Write a list of things that make you feel happy, then do some of them.
Mentally, self-care could involve practices like meditation, mindfulness, or journaling. These activities can help you process your emotions, stay grounded, and gain a sense of control over your thoughts. Warning though, don’t try the meditations that encourage you to “empty your mind” Firstly it’s nearly impossible to do and we run the risk of all the trauma rushing in to fill the gap! Guided meditations can be helpful though.
5. Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques
Mindfulness is about staying present in the moment, which can be incredibly helpful when you’re dealing with trauma. Trauma often drags us into the past or throws us into a future filled with “what ifs.” Mindfulness helps to anchor you in the here and now, which can reduce feelings of anxiety and overwhelm.
There are plenty of ways to practice mindfulness. You might try deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery. These techniques help you reconnect with your body and calm your mind.
Grounding techniques are another great tool for managing trauma. These are simple strategies that help you stay present and connected to reality when your mind starts to spiral. This could be as simple as focusing on the sensation of your feet on the ground, holding a piece of ice, or naming five things you can see around you.
6. Allow Yourself to Grieve
Trauma often involves loss—loss of a loved one, loss of safety, loss of a sense of control, loss of the childhood we should have had.. Grieving is a natural and necessary process when you’re dealing with trauma. But grief doesn’t follow a straight line. It’s messy, unpredictable, and different for everyone.
Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way and in your own time. There’s no “right” way to do it. Some days you might feel okay, and other days the pain might hit you out of nowhere. That’s normal. Let yourself feel those emotions without judgment.
7. Set Boundaries
When you’re healing from trauma, it’s important to set boundaries to protect your energy and mental health. This might mean saying no to things that feel overwhelming, distancing yourself from people who aren’t supportive, or limiting your exposure to triggering situations.
Boundaries are about taking care of yourself, and they’re crucial when you’re in a vulnerable place. It’s okay to prioritise your own needs and to take a step back from things that are too much to handle right now.
8. Be Patient with Yourself
Healing from trauma is not a linear process. There will be good days and bad days, progress and setbacks. It’s important to be patient with yourself and recognise that healing takes time.
It’s easy to get frustrated or feel like you’re not “doing enough” to move forward. But trauma recovery is a journey, not a race. Be gentle with yourself, and try to focus on the small steps you’re taking each day.
9. Consider Professional Help
While self-care and support from loved ones are essential, sometimes it’s helpful to have a professional guide you through the healing process. Therapists trained in trauma can offer specific techniques and therapies, that can really help with trauma recovery
Don’t hesitate to seek out professional help if you feel stuck or overwhelmed. There’s no shame in asking for help, and therapy can provide you with tools and strategies that are tailored to your unique situation.
10. Celebrate Your Progress
Finally, it’s important to celebrate your progress, no matter how small it might seem. Healing from trauma is hard work, and every step forward is an achievement. Whether it’s going a day without a panic attack, reaching out to someone for support, or just getting out of bed in the morning, these are all signs that you’re moving forward.
Take time to acknowledge and appreciate the progress you’ve made. You’re stronger than you think, and every step you take brings you closer to healing.
Conclusion
Dealing with trauma is one of the hardest things anyone can go through, but you don’t have to go through it alone. By acknowledging your feelings, reaching out for support, and practicing self-care, you can begin to heal. Remember, it’s okay to take things one day at a time, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Your journey to healing might be long, but every step you take is a victory.
The Eaves Counselling and Psychology
Fiona Hewkin, Counsellor and Psychotherapist at The Eaves, is based at our Haslemere practice. To find out more about Fiona, or to enquire about her latest availability, please visit her profile here
The Eaves Counselling and Psychology Ltd is a select professional body of Counsellors, Psychotherapists and Psychologists, providing high quality psychological care Monday to Saturday between 9am and 9pm from our practices in Guildford, Godalming, Farnham, Haslemere and online.
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