When we think about our lives, we can all recognise moments of joy, excitement, fear, frustration. Many of these memories will be from daily challenges or experiences. Some might be related to bigger life-changing events that fundamentally shift how we think and feel about ourselves and our life.
Life changing events such as finishing school, a new job, moving home or country, becoming a parent, the menopause, retirement, the loss of a loved one, a medical or mental health diagnosis. To the outside world, the event has happened but it can take time for our internal world, our thoughts and feelings, to catch up.
This ‘in-between’ phase or transition can often bring up feeling of ‘stuckness’ and uncertainty. The way we have handled things before doesn’t work anymore which may bring further feelings of frustration, anxiety and depression. The ‘old life’ isn’t there, but you are desperately searching for it to take away these difficult feelings.
Change can feel overwhelming but can you notice:
– What is changing?
– What is stable?
– What is uncertain?
Writing these out can give a sense of order and clarity within the chaos.
When you are in transition, your mind can move to the future and try to solve everything at once. Break it down and move one step at a time. Try thinking about
– What would feel like enough today?
– What step could I take this week?
It is common to feel more than one feeling at the same time. For example:
– Starting a new job can bring excitement and loss
– Becoming a new parent can bring joy and anxiety
Allowing mixed feelings to coexist can reduce emotional conflict and create more emotional space.
While big changes may be happening to you, what daily routines can support you in this?
Focus on:
– Regular meals and sleep
– Movement, for example, walking and stretching
– Moments of reflection e.g. journaling, quiet time
It takes time for our internal worlds to catch up with life-changing events. There are no short-cuts and in fact allowing yourself the time to process fully can offer opportunities for clarity and growth.
Life transitions are a natural part of life. They can bring up lots of different emotions and thoughts as we move into a new phase of our life and self. In giving ourselves time to experience this and allow our internal world to catch up with the changes occurring around us can really help us to move forward with a new sense of self.
Therapy is one way to address these needs and emotions. A chance to talk through your experience and regain a new understanding of yourself whilst being listened to in a compassionate and empathic way.
If you are struggling moving through a life transition and want some support, I help clients with exactly this. Do get in touch today to find out how we can work together to make your current transition feel more manageable, safer and calmer.
At times, transitions can also bring a deeper sense of self-doubt or loss of identity. You might find yourself questioning who you are in this new phase of life, or feeling disconnected from the person you once were. This can show up as low confidence, difficulty making decisions, or a sense of being directionless or overwhelmed. These experiences are more common than we often realise, but that doesn’t make them any less difficult to carry on your own.
If you find yourself struggling with these feelings, you don’t have to navigate them alone. We have a wide range of experienced practitioners who can support you in making sense of what you’re going through and help you feel more grounded, confident and able to move forward.