6 Things You Can Do to Build Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself and your overall sense of worth and value as a human on this Earth.

People with low self-esteem tend to view themselves in a negative light, especially compared to others. They undervalue what they bring to relationships, work, and the world. They may also feel physically uncomfortable when it comes to recognising their own qualities and strengths.

Low self-esteem feels so real that it can be difficult to acknowledge, because to you, it is real. The mind-traps caused by low self-esteem silently shape how you interpret day-to-day events. They convince you that mistakes prove you’re a failure, other people’s moods are your fault, people don’t like you, or that you wouldn’t cope if someone left. Over time, these thoughts stop feeling like opinions and start feeling like facts.

Having healthy self-esteem does not mean you will be overconfident or arrogant. Someone with high self-esteem has a more balanced view of themselves and their role in life. They handle feedback constructively, own their mistakes, and face challenges with confidence and kindness towards themselves. It’s important to note that this doesn’t mean they don’t face setbacks, heartbreak, or challenges. They just don’t tend to make it about their value as a whole person.

While low self-esteem is often an underlying factor, the problems usually present themselves in more obvious, surface-level ways.

You might find yourself worrying a lot or doubting your own decisions. It can bring on low mood and leave you feeling unhappy or stuck. Your relationships can feel unsatisfying because you don’t value your own needs. It can show up as procrastination, putting things off because you’re afraid of making mistakes or being judged. It may appear in perfectionism, trying to do everything perfectly to avoid feeling bad or like a failure. You might also find yourself people-pleasing, putting others first and neglecting your own needs. All of these are common ways low self-esteem shows up. It’s not just in your head; it affects what you do and how you feel every day. It can be very subtle, but once you are aware of the patterns, it is hard to unsee.

There comes a point where you begin to feel worse about yourself because you can see yourself falling into these patterns, yet struggle to change them.

Here are Six Things You Can Do to Build Self-Esteem

1. Experiment with Self-Loving Behaviours – How you treat yourself moves you towards or away from healthy self-esteem. When you treat yourself with kindness, walk away from what does not serve you, meet your own needs, and act in alignment with your values, you send a clear and direct message: “I am worth it.” You will feel better, and your self-esteem will rise when you treat yourself and your life with the respect you deserve.

2. Speak to Yourself with Compassion – Self-criticism keeps low self-esteem going. It is one of the main culprits. Learning to talk to yourself with kindness strengthens how you view yourself over time. This is your opportunity to develop a new inner language, rooted in respect, positivity, and self-love.

3. Identify Your Strengths and Qualities – You may easily spot your weaknesses and use them as evidence that you’re not enough. Pause and balance this out. List and notice what you bring to the world, your relationships, and your work. This is an important part of developing self-acceptance.

4. Surround Yourself with the Right People – The people around you influence how you view yourself. Being with supportive, encouraging individuals can help you feel valued and capable. Negative or critical influences can reinforce self-doubt. Choose relationships that lift you up, celebrate your successes, and allow you to be your authentic self.

5. Accept Compliments – Whether from others or from yourself, compliments can sometimes feel uncomfortable. You might even doubt the intentions behind them. The key is to pause and receive the compliment with intention. Allow yourself to truly take it in, hold it in your mind, and believe it. Practising this helps create new experiences and evidence that support the belief that you are a worthy and capable person.

6. Take Risks – You might avoid ‘risky’ situations because you fear being judged, failing, upsetting others, or simply not feeling good enough. Taking risks could mean starting a conversation, applying for a job, attending a class on your own, or saying no. It doesn’t mean everything will turn out perfectly. It helps you see your ability to cope across a range of situations. Of course, there will be times when it goes better than you ever imagined.