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Gas Lighting is a form of psychological manipulation which makes the victim question their reality. It is often seen as a form of brainwashing or coercive control. Some forms of Gas Lighting can be innocent and talking with your partner about some of the things their saying or ways their acting can be easily resolved, especially with a qualified therapist present. However, many forms of Gas Lighting can be subtle but incredibly dangerous.

How To Spot It

They will deny things that you know are true

A Gas Lighter will deny things that you are confident are true such as something you or they said. They will say it with such confidence and conviction that you will begin to question your own memory of the event or conversation.

They will try to align people against you

By aligning themselves with people they know will stand by them, they will mention small digs about things these people (may or may not) have said which would isolate you and make you untrusting of the people around you, even your friends and family. This will make you feel dependent on the Gas Lighter for what you believe as honest and truthful information, which of course it is not.

They will ware you down over time

The reason Gas Lighting works is because it is so subtle that you would barely notice it happening. It could be a lie here, or a denial of a conversation there, until eventually it builds up and you begin questioning your own reality and relying on the Gas Lighter for the truth. By this point they have gained control.

If you recognise any of these signs in your own relationships it could be worth talking to a professional. The Eaves offers counselling for individuals and couples which could help you work through those issues in a relationship with a qualified counsellor or give you the support to leave the relationship and work through any problems you face.